Seven Sidekicks2010-03-10T18:54:22ZSheff OtisCopyright 2010, Sheff OtisSPHPBLOGFood Twice a month did not work for us, we need fresh produce and spend LESS when using cash once a week and using the Wholesale club for the bulk things like flour, oats, coffee.
We have saved a ton with this system and after about 2 years of experimenting this is the system:)
Check out Simple Provisions for Dairy! For special occasions I try to make the cakes and buy cute decorations to stick on top:)
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090828-1120532009-08-28T00:00:00Z2009-08-28T00:00:00ZThe answer is YES! If you call to ask if you can bring your kids, your Grandmother, your brother in law your neighbors over to the BBQ the answer will be yes.
If you call to see if I can watch your kids because you are having a hard day, the answer will be yes.
If you ask me if somedays I get overwhelmed, I will tell you yes. I will also say I find great joy, renewal and love in my life and that helping others is what makes me happiest. Helping my children, my husband, my church, my community.
Yes, I can take on more. Yes I welcome you, yours and anymore you want to toss our way.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090812-1716072009-08-12T00:00:00Z2009-08-12T00:00:00ZNotes as a means of communication When I am trying to get a point across it really works to write a note.
One of the boys had a hard day and I wrote him a note. "Your choices made me upset because they were disrespectful, how do you think you could handle the situation next time?" He then wrote back to me and slipped it under his door. I wrote back to him. We resolved the issue without anger or raising voices, slamming doors and so on:)
Also if I have a need for the day, like "Everyone put away the clothes stacked in your room" the big kids will read it to the little kids.
To try and talk over everyone else feels futile at times. Also, giving the same request 7 times can be exhausting. I leave notes on the kitchen counter and everyone knows to read them. This works for spouses as well!
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090723-0935122009-07-23T00:00:00Z2009-07-23T00:00:00ZReading & Writing My challenge is how to pace myself and be as productive as possible throughout the day. Last night I did a deep clean of the kitchen which felt great, but totally ignored the porch and laundry pile. It is a balancing act to accomplish enough for satisfaction and not get overwhelmed.
I am really excited to be writing again. After a traumatic event when I was 19 I stopped writing for the most part. The difficulty is to fall into the trap of "What is the point?" I am a voracious reader, usually a book every 2 to 3 days, the kids often grab books and sit by me while I read at night.
Reading, and writing, for me is simply a way to travel. A way to experience another world, a universe. It leaves me refreshed, smiling and ready for the next adventure here in the day to day.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090720-0813032009-07-20T00:00:00Z2009-07-20T00:00:00ZHome from the North Woods Home from vacation in the Northern Woods, YMCA Camp du Nord, we are all missing different things.
James: Being able to roam free, be gone for hours at a time exploring the woods.
John: All the counselors who were friends and mentors.
Annie: The clear, cold lakes on the Canadian border.
Mickey: Less room means more cuddle time, sharing rooms, cozy fires
Nate: All the art time, wood burning, painting on bark, drawing in the sand, having mom and dad available to work on reading.
Mark: So many opportunities to perform his Tiger Dance, pretty sweet moves.
Daisy: Being mom's sidekick, 24/7
Sheff: Trail runs, Kayaking, Polar Bear swims, talks with D
Deirdre: 3 meals a day repaired for our family of 9, a Cabin that was so beautiful and a manageable size!]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090719-1955532009-07-20T00:00:00Z2009-07-20T00:00:00ZUnrealistic Optimism Sheff and I were talking last night about friendship, joining groups, taking on new responsibilities and challenges and life outlook. And of course we started talking at midnight straightening up our closets when we should have been sleeping!
He told me Winston Churchill once said that all great leaders were unrealistically optimistic. He also relayed an MPR interview with the great boxing champ Mohammed Ali who’s wife said he always looked at every situation as an opportunity to win, even if it was ridiculous.
This is the attitude it takes to have 7 kids under 8! I wake up in the morning with lofty goals of excellence. Happy children all finishing their homework, having cleanly pressed uniforms, talking about the purpose of bettering their minds. I imagine a spotless home cleaned naturally and wonderful smells simmering on the stove. I think about making it to morning Mass, looking up the Saints celebration of the day. I picture catching up on scrap booking their individual books as well as our family album, paying bills, figuring out what a health savings account actually IS, and writing personalized thank you cards for birthday well wishers. and on and on and on.
In REALITY I accomplish about 80% of my goals and that is actually great!! If I had realistic goals I could not handle my life. and when I fail (like having my children read the wrong story for Great Books class, not taking Mark to the potty, having a late Old Navy bill, forgetting to call back a great Aunt) I chalk it up to a fluke not failure.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090408-1150202009-04-08T00:00:00Z2009-04-08T00:00:00ZSpring and Muddy Boots Mick learned to ride a two wheeler in a few hours and is now doing tricks. He was a year older than we usually teach them and it seems like the perfect age to give it a go. He turned six less than a month ago.
What I notice is that spring requires restructuring of the house, we talked about changing the cubby system. Right now they come in every door, kick of muddy shoes and boots and shed jackets and sweatshirts. We need one reentry spot.
At night I have added knocking shoes and boots on the side of house (brick) and making a snake of shoes and boots lined up in the hallway. Stuffing toes with newspaper and a sprinkling of baking soda keeps them relatively fresh for the next day.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090322-0845482009-03-22T00:00:00Z2009-03-22T00:00:00ZFace-Book Quiz offers fast food speed Identity It is a way to be noted, viewed as unique and special in a digital universe of collective self identity musings. The questions of “What is on your thoughts?” or a statement such as “Frank Is..wondering about love”, are quite ethereal.
The quizzes offer a concrete moment of identity. As if you have found a secret view into the “real me” If only for an instant the chaos wanes and I am viewed in a new, fresh way, I am green.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090318-1441102009-03-18T00:00:00Z2009-03-18T00:00:00ZCome to a Dadiator Workshop!WHO’S THE BOSS? (Moms we know it’s you.)
Need a break? Want a massage? Wish your husband would do this more often?
Teach them how by signing up your husband and kids for the Dadiator Workshop and enter to win a FREE 30 minute massage at the SweatShop. The Dadiator (a.k.a. Sheff Otis) & ACE Certified Personal Trainer and "Bootie Camp" instructor Colleen Atkinson will kick your husband into gear!
WHEN: March 21, April 18, May 9 @ 1:30-2:30
AGES: 3-8 for workshop participants. Childcare available for children under 3.
WHERE: The SweatShop Health Club 167 Snelling Ave. N. Saint Paul, MN 55104
At a Dadiator workshop, your crew will enjoy and learn...
Wild obstacle courses to do together.
Fantastic fitness games to play with each other.
Trademark Dadiator “kid lifting” maneuvers and an intense workout for Dad.
Unique methods for improving family fitness at home.
Inventive ways of keeping the mind and body “fresh” throughout the day.
Exercise methods that emphasize coordination, development, and brain growth.
SAFETY--RIGOR--FUN! And the afternoon is...all yours!
Call the Sweatshop @ 651.646.8418 and sign up NOW so the Dadiator knows how many “fun parachutes” to pack!
The Dadiator is the MN Parent Magazine Kid Fit Columnist, a Kettlebell certified fitness instructor, general contractor by day, father of seven under eight, and just another dad trying to cope. The "Bootie Camp" Instructor is a mother of four, an ACE Personal Trainer, STOTT PILATES™ trained instructor, the Group Fitness Director at SweatShop Health Club, and has several certification from Kettlebell Concepts, Spinning, YogaFit, ANWA, and Zumba. SweatShop Health Club www.sweatshopfitness.com (651)646-8418
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090312-2155282009-03-13T00:00:00Z2009-03-13T00:00:00ZRainy Day Car Wash
1. Get large container and cover the bottom with vinegar
2. Let kids pour baking soda on top to see the foam!
3. Pour in hot water and dollup of dish soap.
4. Let kids add and stir in anything you need to clean
5. We used cars we found at a thrift store. Another sanitizing trick is the freezer or porch (which is usually colder in the winter)! A fun activity and good way to get the cars clean!
6. Have kids dry cars and count, match colors, talk about shapes and designs.
7. Make a pattern on the towel to dry, we did circles and squares.
8. Play (germless) cars! ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090309-2042182009-03-10T00:00:00Z2009-03-10T00:00:00Z2 year old Yoga Commentary Well rather a pose I created that is rather silly looking and fun. I told the little boys to try it.
Judah (2.5 years) said " I fall over when I do that"
Mark nodded his head seriously and said "We should only try new moves on carpet"
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090309-0905372009-03-09T00:00:00Z2009-03-09T00:00:00ZMarch Balance Last week I had wrist surgery and could not use my right hand at all for about four days, then gradually could use my fingers to drive and so on. I am still catching up on laundry and cleaning and the store was shelved for the week.
I am back to being productive and running around. It is also March, blah. My mum thinks November is the worst, I argue March. Slushy, gray and kids have been cooped up for too long! I do love Lent, but it feels like these days time for introspection is sparse.
Every so often I feel like I need to re balance, almost as if I am a level that is falling off a shelf. The challenge is to catch the level in mid free fall and cradle it back up to a sunny plumb shelf. I enjoy the challenge of purposeful rebalance.
With so many people counting on my ability to run the household I do not have the luxury to wallow in self doubt, I simply rise to the challenge and work through the difficulties.
Right now my biggest challenges are: 1. Managing the big kids homework and learning how to delegate the teaching to other adults (Dad, Grandparents, baby-sitters)
2. Supporting Sheff in new Business Ventures and Dadiator.
3. Finding ways to become more involved and helpful at my children’s school.
4. Keeping up with household systems already in place (keeping areas clean and organized so the children just need to maintain. ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090307-0926022009-03-07T00:00:00Z2009-03-07T00:00:00ZInterview With Deirdre : Baby Days What is your favorite time of the day? Cuddling before nap, cozy under our quilts reading, talking and the silence that follows!
Least favorite? The ten minutes prior to the big kids getting n the bus. I put everything out the night before but inevitably someone wants a show in tell item, a worksheet needs to be signed, boots are wet and so on.
Best baby purchase ever: Cloth one piece sling, Maya Wraps, Hot Slings. I LOVE them and used them daily until Daisy was 16 months. I nursed while cooking hands free, washed and cleaned, it was an extension of the womb.
Worst baby purchase: Crib bumpers, decor in general, not necessary and the baby is in our room for the first 9 months anyway. Also, baby bath tubs, never purchased one, just jumped in with the baby or did a sink bath, that skin to skin is heaven, why use a plastic tub, icky.
Wish I had with all of my kids: A co-sleeper. We used our friends for Daisy and LOVED it, pushes right next to the bed for easy nighttime nursing, worth every penny.
Didn’t use: We never used a baby monitor. At one pint we had four babies in cribs! Only two bedrooms on the ground floor so I would just do laundry in the living room while they napped. And if I went out to Garden I opened the windows. Everyone was fine and I stayed relaxed. This translates to many areas of my life as a mother. I never over worry. The calm I bring to the day usually saves my sanity. In the middle of chaos I can think quite rationally. When things get top quiet I don’t function as optimally. Don't use baby mittens babies need to touch skin as they did in untero, fingertips to skin is calming.
Best baby clothes: At first 0-3 months I love simple pull on cotton tights (on boys and girls). Socks are kicked off and tights are warm and keep diapers snug for less messy explosions. I used soft pull on pants and cotton T’s. When they start rolling and moving onsies are great but at first I prefer the easy nighttime diaper changes. And yes by number seven I can change and dress with my eyes closed in the dark and often did with Daisy:) As they get bigger I like to have two layers, a base layer for warmth and softness, like tights and a once and then a second layer to be able to change with mess and spills throughout the day. I love Hanna Andersson Swedish Moccasins before walking and then Robeez slippers as they start to walk. I shop thrift stores all the time and look for colors and softness above brand.
OK that is it for now, we will post an interview each week from here on out, let us know if you enjoy it:)]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090306-0840472009-03-06T00:00:00Z2009-03-06T00:00:00ZDadiator Car Gym
Warning. Do not attempt this with kids in the car or while car is moving!!!]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090303-1616442009-03-03T00:00:00Z2009-03-03T00:00:00ZGetting on track with school 1. I am going to start a letter of the week. I will enter it on the calendar and the children should all know if you ask them. Nothing fancy just every opportunity to point out something that letter starts with or books about that letter, play-dough and so on. This week is the letter T. The resources I found say it is best not to go in alphabetical order. The next 4 weeks will be T, B, M, A
2. Mick needs help with reading, any-chance we have lets sit with a book and have him point out letters, try explaining the way letters go together to make a sound, if he gets frustrated, don't push just e enjoy finishing the book.
4. Annie needs to practice math equations, I have a book for her and flash cards, she likes the workbook better, I will look for more of those. When she is not engaged suggest the math problems. I will keep her book in-the bin labeled "school papers" to the right of the computer.
5. Annie and John have great books each Tuesday meaning Monday nights are to read an discuss the story and worksheets. James has great-books each Thursday. Annie and John have spelling tests on Thursday, James on Friday.
6. James needs to read for 1 hour a day, no joke, each day. He is at 80% reading comp for a test this past month, I want him up to 100% by the end of the year. I want to get an egg timer he can set himself (Boo can you be in charge of fining one?) Then he can stay up from 8-9 pm and read. thus sleeping until 6:30 in the am not 5 if he falls asleep at 7:30.
7. I want Mark and Nate to be strong with writing their names and learning the letters of the week.
8. John needs to get to the reading level where he can read solo, finding a book sitting close to an adult so he can ask for help with words.
-D
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090302-2225552009-03-03T00:00:00Z2009-03-03T00:00:00ZThe top 7 reasons why I've neglected this site lately... 6. I am in the middle of a stressful (yet hopeful) career transition.
5. I've been Dadiating like a crazy man. My first workshop at the SweatShop was a hit!
4. I've been obsessed with juggling (and teaching my kids to juggle) weighted balls.
3. Carwashes beckon. The kids are as mesmerized as they'd be watching pirhannas eat a cow at the zoo aquarium.
2. Daisy won't let me sit at the computer. She insists that I sit on the floor with her and poke my bellybutton while she pokes her bellybutton (which she calls her "bup.")
And the number one reason for why I've been neglecting this site (drum roll)...
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090209-2221302009-02-10T00:00:00Z2009-02-10T00:00:00ZFeast of St. Brigid" target="_blank" >Dadiator, Deirdre with Deirdre's Boutique and big kids in school and the 3 youngest creating mystical plots of pony tiger and baby doll adventures.
We celebrated my birthday this year with a Saint Brigid (my patron saint) of Ireland party, one of our weekly (or so) celebrations of kindness through action. Friends, family, and neighbors came bearing Guinness (by can and by pasta?!), and beautiful St. Brigid artifacts--a cross, a porcelain medallion, a house prayer, and we all shared Irish food, from homemade soda bread to things baked and (of course) boiled. The house seemed smaller with so many bodies crowding the kitchen, but warmer by the breath and cheer of loving company. (Ocassionally, our company would thin just a bit as certain of our guests disappeared into the basement to check on what I hear was a fantastic Superbowl).
We hope your new year is off to a promising start despite the ailing economy. We also hope our new president’s promises of healing steadily bear fruit. President Obama. The fact that six such syllables even exist speaks to our capacity to pull ourselves out of a slump.
Live with love!
The Otis family
P.S. “Obama” was flagged by my spell check. A true mold-breaker!
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090205-2146162009-02-06T00:00:00Z2009-02-06T00:00:00ZSt. Paul Parenting Education Program
Life after ECFE... by Sheff Otis
Photo by Deb Pleasants
ECFE and other early childhood programs get us through the early years, but where do we turn for support when potty training is replaced with lunch money and separation anxiety gives way to overnights?
Last September, a group of dedicated ECFE moms and educators launched a new Parenting Education Program (PEP) for school age parents. Based out of Rondo Community Center, the program evolved through a partnership between St. Paul Community Education and the Working Family Resource Center, which has for years offered similar programs for working parents. At the end of the first 8-week PEP session, parents have had rave reviews.
"It's been a touchstone in my life relating to parents in the same boat. No more floundering in isolation," says Kirsten Walsh, mother of three (ages 6, 9, and 11)."
Walsh was among the core group of Moms who identified the need for PEP during a "concerns and celebrations" rehash in ECFE.
"ECFE was such an important tool for articulating problems and having other parents shape perspective around them. Carrying this resource to the next stage seemed like a no-brainer. It was just a matter of how."
EARLY EFFORTS
A big part of the how came from the expertise and guidance of Jill Chisholm, longtime St. Paul parent educator and "the ultimate alternative to googling a parenting issue," in Walsh's words.
Jill helped facilitate "coffee group" discussions around goals of a would be school age program. "We were able to identify key issues ranging from homework to cheating to discipline, but the biggest challenge was how to connect the dots."
The group tried to form a class exclusively through Community Ed, but the process was ponderous, perhaps because so few programs beyond the ECFE level address parenting groups without a specific demographic target, eg. low income families or families dealing with a language barrier.
"Our goal was to establish a program offering universal access and long-term viability," says Chisholm. "Most school age programs run out out after two years when they've achieved their purpose or grant money goes kaput."
WFRC PARTNERSHIP
Which made partnership with the Working Family Resource Center vital because, according to Beth Quist, WFRC Director of Education and Development, "We already had "cradle to grave" programs in place with trained parent educator models. It just took a few minor revisions to adapt our school-age model to a community based program."
PEP HELPS KIDS
"A lot of parents overlook the "trickle down effect" of gaining support for themselves," says Jill Chisholm. Effective parenting education programs, like those that involve direct parent child interaction, can help stem troubled behavior and promote school success. According to a recent CDC sponsored analysis of 77 parent education programs, programs that work (a) encourage positive interaction and emotional communication, (b) encourage parenting consistency, particularly with discipline and the use of time out, and (c) require parents to practice these skills in class. Less effective programs merely disburse written information.
WRFC's own evaluations conclude that "attitude and behavioral outcomes supporting development and school readiness are more likely after an extended session than a single workshop," which lends credence to PEP's eight (soon to be ten) week format.
DADS NEEDED
Dads also play a role in successful programs. A 2007 University of Utah study concluded that father involvement in parent training promotes "better family cooperation and cohesion... [while] excluding fathers decreases the likelihood of success."
CLASS STRUCTURE AND FLEXIBILITY
PEP curriculum is loosely based on the Positive Parenting Curriculum developed by University of Minnesota Extension Service, but parents have a lot of leeway to chart their own course. "Our first class was an intake for gathering topics and building an outline for the session," explains Monell Jakel, PEP's Parent Educator. "But planned topics often give way to more timely concerns.
Lisa Harrington, who found out about PEP from a Groveland Elementary flier, enthusiastically describes a "building friendships" class that veered into a lively discussion of allowance. "One mom even brought in an age-based allowance spreadsheet. Very helpful."
"I had no idea allowance was such a big deal," confesses Jakel. "In my ECFE classes, I always had a backlog of resources for any topic. Now, it takes a week to come through with information" (though participants enthusiastically tout her followthrough).
EXPERIENCED PARENT EDUCATOR
But Jakel, in keeping with an "effective" program model, does more than just filter reading material. With 23 years of experience as an ECFE parent educator, she is the backbone of the class, and is not afraid to confront challenging realities. Jakel cites the Nebraska "Safe Haven Law," which, until last November, allowed parents to relinquish children at hospitals without legal penalty or a set age boundary. In most places, including Minnesota, the law allows three days after a child is born, but until the change, many desperate parents crossed state lines to "drop off" their kids, many of them teenagers, in Nebraska.
"The Nebraska law shows the extreme of parents at their wits end," says Jakel, but classes like ours give parents a safe haven to go without feeling judged to find alternatives, which are easier to grasp when we no longer think of ourselves as islands."
Above all, Jakel underscores the value of becoming comfortable with "disequilibrium."
"Parenthood is a lifetime dance involving a lot of uneasy change, and we need the confidence to recognize that yes, we may feel out of balance for a while, but we'll get through this."
A STRENGTHENING CORE
Jakel's safe atmosphere and free flow of classes suits the temperament of school-age parents.
"This class makes us better parents, but without guilt or stress," says Karen Chaput, who had her now seven year old daughter when she was 45. Chaput sees PEP as "a lifeline of camaraderie" when most of her peers have long since passed through the school age gauntlet.
"The group offers a lot of warmth and humor," adds Harrington. "As the class has progressed, we've become closer and more forthcoming. We're all a little more laid back than we were when our kids were tiny, which makes for an inviting atmosphere"
Which isn't to say school age challenges are "laid back."
"I've found one or two big concerns at a time with school age kids as opposed to 20 small ones with little kids," says Kirsten Walsh.
Among big concerns on the docket this session is emotional development.
"My seven year can express herself articulately but her mind often seems ahead of her emotions," explains Chaput. I need help understanding how to step back and look at her with developmental empathy."
Another key topic will be monitoring, i.e. how parents stay on top of where their kids are, what they're doing, and with whom.
"Today's parents/neighbors aren't as comfortable as they once were looking after each other's kids," explains Jakel, "and once they get into school, looking out for our own kids becomes even more... complicated."
JOIN THE CLASS
Signup: Dads and moms are welcome to sign up for the upcoming Jan 27-March 17 session by calling the Working Family Resource Center at (651)-293-5330. Note. Late entrees are welcome.
Time: Tuesdays @ 9:30-11:00a.m. and 6:00-7:30p.m.
Class Size: Limited to 18, but if enrollment spikes and defines need for additional classes, "Bring 'em on!," urges Beth Quist.
Childcare: None, but this may change as the program gains momentum.
Cost: The session fee is $40, but the WFRC is willing to offer "silent scholarships" if needed.
Call the WFRC at (651)-293-5330 and join Rondo PEP today!
P.S. If you're a current ECFE parent, look for PEP fliers in your ECFE class or ask your parent educator about the program.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090122-0030002009-01-22T00:00:00Z2009-01-22T00:00:00ZGodly Definition When we got to the word 'rainbow, he said: ChristLord of the Evil God found the ponies. He let the ponies go to the rainbow so they could get back to their families..." all with very serious priestly tone. This is only a tiny portion of his liturgy of the Word. I couldn't write fast enough...
p.s. I have to say it sounded quite like Deirdre at the same age.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry090118-2214372009-01-19T00:00:00Z2009-01-19T00:00:00ZKid of the Week: James
James deserves an entire book for kid of the week. James leads the clan, herds the rascals, puts up with the theft of his legos and the shredding of his Avatar comics.
James has always been a worker. He began working when he began walking, picking up trash (sometimes out of the trash can to eat), folding socks (very helpful) and shoveling the walk with (and now for) dad.
James now earns more money doing chores and neighborhood work than any of his peers, which is good, because he needs a steady cash flow to pay for the numerous things he breaks around the house (baseball through front window, snapped strings on sisters harp, etc.). There is a downside to being so hands-on. But he always seems more satisfied earning the money than spending it--our little Alex P. Keaton hoarder.
James loves sports. He doesn’t talk much about sports, but he kicks the h*ll out of any sport he tries. He’s tough, fearless, and hungry for the ball (another upside of being hands-on). I keep telling Sheff it is OK to celebrate the fact James tears up the field from time to time. I love that Sheff is so team minded--its not about winning but having fun--but I can’t help but “heck-yeah” when my kid brings it!
James more openly discusses his interest in science, rocks, stories of mystical elements and watching things evolve, hatch and grow. It’s fun to watch him grow and evolve, but less fun to watch the mystical food elements he’s snuck into his room hatch and grow under his bed.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081231-1516362008-12-31T00:00:00Z2008-12-31T00:00:00ZThe Day After ChristmasTis the day after Christmas, and all through the house... All creatures are whirring, except this young mouse.
The stockings are slung by the chimney so careless. The draft in the fireplace is quiet and airless.
One mouse in a kerchief, it’s friend in a cap ...are worn out from Christmas and need a brief nap.
I can’t say the same for my vigorous kids. Who seem to have botox inside their eyelids.
They dance and make merry, they jitter and shout To bumping rap music with cuss words bleeped out.
I have the day off, and there’s no need to work. I should be productive but I’d rather shirk. The wood shop needs cleaning but I have to fessup I’d rather just chill playing mousy pants dressup.
We’ll work on our juggling and Chinese jump rope. And style hip-hop duckies, and wishfully hope
For wintry whiteouts and time to read books (Young Daisy’s selection has drawn a few looks).
This might not compare to Noel at it’s height But days after Christmas have bits of all right.
Courtesy of Ben M.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081226-1229412008-12-26T00:00:00Z2008-12-26T00:00:00Z12 Highlights of Christmas
1. Sheff: Waking up to Daisy drawing on my face with Mom’s lipstick. A surprising likeness of Mongolia. A tiny churlish grin.
2. Deirdre: The shower of “thank yous” from my kids, to Santa, grandparents, relatives, and especially Mom. Mickey was particularly thankful for his kid Bible, and all but quoted the Grinch’s change of heart speech...
Maybe Christmas, he thought , doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, he thought, means a little bit more...
3. Sheff: And of the material reflections of spirit given, the ones from loving hands, not stores, stood out the most.
As I fruitlessly scoured the neighborhood looking for doughnuts, I heard the replay of an NPR Terry Gross Interview with Empire Falls author Richard Russo, in which he described a downward shift in generational optimism after WWII. Our sense of identity, he said, took a serious blow when the conveniences of consumer culture drew us away from our ability to make our own things.
Thank you W & C for your labor of love.
The creative loved ones responsible for these handiworks must be beacons for an optimistic time to come.
4. Sheff: Receiving juggling balls from my father in law, whom the kids call Big Daddy... ...and feeling distinctly grateful for having a father in law who gets me.
5. Sheff: Taking a rare mid-afternoon nap, a 2-1/2 hour Rip Van Winkler. I woke up to Daisy dropping my juggling balls on my face. When that didn’t get me to move, she took an inside position on my bed and kicked my nose until I jerked backward and fell out onto the floor, taking the lamp with me.
6. Sheff: My utter sense of relief at D. completely taking care of present duty this year and saving me from another last minute spending panic.
7. Deirdre: Seeing the children of my Mom’s oldest friend, at whose birth I was present, now playing with my children. Bonding with the 14 daughter in particular, who was flower girl at our wedding and is now beyond gorgeous, about our mothers, love of friends and babies. I got a kick as she described her “embarrassment” at having the most popular guy in school become friends with her mom on Facebook. She said that he comes up to her now in the hallway to check in about the “friendship,” and she describes these interactions almost apologetically, as if she really doesn’t understand how big a favor her mom has done this supposed hunk. Her humility is even more beautiful than she.
8. Deirdre: Christmas Box Theater, Boo’s annual shoe box diorama puppet show, also touched on inner beauty. Each year, Boo spotlights an interaction between herself and a child version of me over the true meaning of Christmas. Today’s performance dwelt on a conversation about little gray bird in the manger bringing baby Jesus the gift of a red feather, a small token of outer beauty to reflect his inner beauty. In reward for the bird’s kindness, God gave the bird a beautiful red coat, and this explained the cardinal on Boo’s tree, nestled in the hem of the crowning angel’s dress.
9. Sheff: The crumbling of the edifice of video games that has dominated our household too much of late, giving way to cities of Legos. James disappeared into his room shortly after presents and reappeared moment’s later having built this.
Legos are sweet!
10. Deirdre: Starting a bath to wind down the day, being suddenly bombarded with little bodies (oh well...)... ...but then handing them for Dad to dry and enjoying five minutes of blissful calm before resuming my motherly duties.
11. Deirdre: Missing Uncle Ty (Sheff’s brother) but hearing he’ll be home for Christmas next year.
12. Sheff: Catching Grandpa Pocky, bearer of gifts and sundries, on his way to sunny Ojai California, prepared to charge through storms to the south in his faithful Mini Cooper.
Thanks, Santa!
P.S. Miss you GoGo... ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081225-2109462008-12-26T00:00:00Z2008-12-26T00:00:00ZSanta Claus IS Real I normally don't spotlight other peoples' kids in this blog, but this one was too good to pass up.
A friend's 9 year old son came home complaining that the kids at school were talking trash about how Santa wasn't real.
"But I know he's real," said the son with supreme confidence, a confidence so unshakeable that it aroused Dad's curiosity.
"Why's that?" my friend asked.
Because you and Mom aren't about to spend that kind of money on me.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081222-2108342008-12-23T00:00:00Z2008-12-23T00:00:00ZPicky Eaters
"I'm just a saleswoman for food. That's my life."
-Deirdre]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081218-1117552008-12-18T00:00:00Z2008-12-18T00:00:00ZKid of the Week: Mickey Lip-Mickey “Bees and dogs smell fear...”
“THAT FEAR IS ME!”
Mickey has always been a cuddle bug. When he was first born he was in NICU and Sheff and I lived by his bed side (in turns, one was always home with toddler James). We would do kangaroo care, put tiny Mickey skin to skin against us and sing. I remember singing old Texas cowboy songs, I only knew a few verses so I would sing them over and over, slowly rocking, kissing his small blond fuzz. “Poncho was a ..something man....Out of kindness I am told..”
Mick loves his blankie, our sweet Linus.
When Mickey first started a preschool program he had a tiff with a friend and the teacher said he did a most unusual thing. Mickey was bothered by the friend hassling him and rather than getting into a fight Mick simply moved the friend. He gripped either side of the boy’s arms, lifted the friend and set him down out of his way. Then Mick went on his way.
Mickey attended his school’s version of an elementary lock-in last week. The kids were to arrive in PJS, sleep over and go home after breakfast. Mickey asked me what a “sleep over” entailed and I responded. “Well, you go, have a snack, maybe play a game or watch a movie and then everyone gets in their sleeping back and goes to sleep. In the morning you have breakfast and mom and dad pick you up.” Mick looked at me with incredulity and said “That is the most boring thing in the whole world! You go to sleep and eat breakfast? Why is that cool?”
The second came on Primo’s heels Conceived in travel’s strife Five weeks premature He had no time to wait on life. He once fit in the palm of my hand Now he strides and he glides And he rules the land. His fiery footsteps Burn glass tracks in sand And the beasts heed his command...
-From “The Legend of Seven” ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081215-2210062008-12-16T00:00:00Z2008-12-16T00:00:00ZChrismastory Repeats ItselfHEY DON'T OPEN THAT...ouch.
Yes it happened again. Another bold, adventurous, experimental youth sets out to discover (for himself) the limits of 4 below zero.
It happened last year at around the same time. It has happened many times since. And sadly, it will happen again.
But for now, young John, we salute you, because by sacrificing your tongue-lips-and-face you have spared your siblings the desire for a similarly bold adventure, much as your sister Annie did last summer when she proved that red meant hot on the stove burner.
OUCH! I just burned my dingdang tongue with my tea. (Double ouch, that horse was higher than I thought). ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081215-2107172008-12-16T00:00:00Z2008-12-16T00:00:00ZTip: Don't use cold medicine...buzz in the news recently about how they aren't actually effective. We have found a teaspoon of honey in a half mug of camomile tea to be soothing right before bed. Also,we keep vaporizers in two rooms with doors open. For babies, nasal bulb syringes are a pain but really help babies sleep with head colds. We still have the one from the hospital. We've found that hospital versions work the best. Warming the bulb syring under really hot water makes it softer on baby’s nose and easier to squeeze.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081213-2221382008-12-14T00:00:00Z2008-12-14T00:00:00ZKid(s) of the Week: Little Boys
Yesterday I took the little boys Mark and Nate to MacDonalds Playland for kid of the week night out. This was a far cry from our last visit to the Good Earth (which was like taking monkeys to prom), but I’ll tell you what, MacDonalds packs a value punch when it comes to kid ice cream cones. 32 cents for a gnome-hat sized vanilla cone that I could inhale through one nostril, but great for tiny kids like Mark who lick one molecule at a time off the top while allowing the bottom to melt-cascade all over humanity.
In contrast to Mark, Nate snarfed his cone in two Nanyoseconds, and promptly disappeared into the giant plastic intestines of playland. Mark, drawn to his brother by invisible strings, graciously offered me his slobber pellet, which I promptly devoured.
And there I was, alone at a plastic table, my neck cold against plate glass, as our first real snowstorm of the season swirled outside. This was a different kind of bonding than with the older kids, who enjoy verbal repartee through our notebooks. This was more a bonding with my little boys’ delight in a moment and in one another.
I could not see them through the giant opaque polymer entrails, but the entrails shuddered from time to time, as if digesting a particularly lively snack. And every once in a while, I’d catch a flash of red, like an approaching subway, dancing off my boy’s lightup Christmas socks (that’s right, it’s not just the shoes any more).
So after a few moments, boys came tumbling out of a giant tube slide, laughing hysterically and piled in a heap of grins and sweaty limbs. They got up and brushed themselves off, Mark favoring his jolly belly and Nate picking at his lithe gymnast’s physique.
They approached me with business.
“Daddy,” said Nate. “Now if I had three ice cream cones I would get sick, but if I had two ice cream cones, I would not...get sick.”
“Me too,” chimed Mark.
“Okay boys. I’ll get more ice cream cones. After all, they are only spoon sized and cost but 32 cents, a recession special if ever there wasn.”
Curious stares.
So I went to the counter while the boys played and I sheepishly ordered two more gnome-cones. I didn’t have cash so I offered my credit card. The Macserver gestured to his manager, who had to come over and type a special code into the register for a second purchase on a single credit card in the same evening. “For security reasons,” the manager assured me. Very well then. I don’t want hooligans running around with my credit card and buying perverse amounts of fast-food, although come to think of it, they probably won’t be hard to catch. Meanwhile, another Macserver, a woman with surprisingly sinewy forearms, waited to shift the soft serve machine into a very humble second gear. “Your card has been approved,” grinned the manager, all but offering his hand in meaty congratulations. Triumph! In a flash, my gnome cones squirted into existence and I rushed them to my lads lest a fly with a straw slurp them out of my grasp before I could return to the plastic palace.
Boys barreled down the ejector slide once more, treat-dars poised, pouring sweat. The previous ritual ensued. Lick. Lick. SNARF. Off to the races. “Wait for me, Natie. Dad, eat this.” SNARF yet once more.
And so they played. I listened.
“Hola,” squealed Nate.
“Hola,” repeated Mark, not understanding.
“Hola is Spanish for Hi.”
“Hola!”
“And Tortuga is Spanish for turtle.”
“HOLA!”
“HOLA!!”
They repeated the word “HOLA” to one another at least seven more times, building to a pitch that threatened to send plate glass shards home with the gale.
Then silence.
Ten count.
Then a bone battering cacophony as the two came rumbling down the pipe once more.
Pile of boy.
Belly dust. Body pick.
”Dad,” said Nate. Now if I had four ice cream cones I would get sick, but if I had three ice cream cones I would not...get sick.”
Mark looked at Nate sidelong. Are you crazy man?
I headed to the counter for another 32 cent gnomer, which reached my hand before I even asked for it. Don’t worry, winked forearms, “I know you’re good for it.”
[Damn right]
“Manager!”]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081210-0031522008-12-10T00:00:00Z2008-12-10T00:00:00ZTip: Harrowing Hairpin Turn Don't leave a pile of hairpins on the bathroom vanity.
Kid ducks in a barrel.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081208-2043562008-12-09T00:00:00Z2008-12-09T00:00:00ZEmoticons Rule? SLEEPY
The other day I watched my son-in-law playing with his 4 year old son at the table by asking him to imitate a series of wacky expressions: consternation, joy, quizzical-ness. It’s OK—this child can eat and play at once. Some grandchildren can’t. Perhaps their PET scans already look different due to biological causes other than the brain-warping use of computers-- though that is coming for all of us if Dr. Small (Star Tribune, Dec. 3, 2008) is right in saying that the Google-brain of teenagers who’ve been on line for their lifetime appears to be less capable of interaction with real time people.
FASCINATED
Google-brains who spend more time on technology related tasks and less time exposed to other people, drift away from fundamental social skills-- like reading facial expressions. They are not very good at interpreting nonverbal messages. Young people become isolated and less interested in classroom learning.
FURIOUS
I remember hearing from Ivan Illych, the Mexican scholar of culture, that doctors in the late twentieth century were no longer taught to read the signs of death on a face. A standard medical school practice of training physicians to recognize and be present at death was dropped to focus on prolonging life as long as possible, making doctors the new priests of immortality.
DEBONAIR
The emoticons popping up on my screen are clever, but I wonder if they aren’t as life defying as plastic surgeries that de-flex a face, smooth out its character lines and add to our sense of a perfected immortality that is hardly human. We aren’t going to lessen computer use, but we can rally for the antidote of the arts in our schools & communities: express yourself, make faces, limber up the fifty muscles it takes to grin, defy the odds, go see theatre, watch films! It’s already a matter of life and death!!
ATTENTIVE
- Nor Hall, a.k.a Boo
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081205-2006252008-12-06T00:00:00Z2008-12-06T00:00:00ZDaddy Doo Band 6 under 6
This is a song I wrote for the Daddy Doo band's last cd, entitled What Would Daddy Doo?
St. Paul, MN—The Daddy-Doo Band is set to release its fourth cd THE COMPLETE DADDY-DOO: STAGE I. The band’s swan song is coming in two installments because “life with children is busier than you expect,” says Todd Seabury-Kolod, the band’s frontperson. (The second installment, STAGE II, will be available in 2009 or 2010…and then the band will fade into the sunset.) Seabury-Kolod has been a St. Paul Public Schools teacher with Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE) for 25 years. He pulled together parents and another teacher from the program to form the band in 2002. Michael Carvale, Robert Lipscomb, Mike Pretel, Ben Woolman, Anne Zielske, and Seabury-Kolod are all St. Paulites. John Richardson is from Shoreview.
The band’s first release DADDY-DOO came in 2003; DADDY-DOO-A-RAMA in 2005; and WHAT WOULD DADDY-DOO? In 2007. The band has sold or distributed over 3000 cds. Their first cd had three original tunes and covers of popular children’s tunes. Since then, all their material has been original. Their genre is alternative rock touching on themes about fatherhood, parenting and children. “The band tried to create listenable tunes with meaningful lyrics that wouldn’t drive anyone crazy after repeated plays,” says Seabury-Kolod.
The band is completely not for profit. All proceeds go to the Rondo ECFE Parent Advisory Council which offers scholarships, field trips and special events to its parents.
The band is having a cd release party on Saturday, December 6 at Trotter’s Café and Bakery at 232 Cleveland Ave, North. The dinner kitchen opens at 5 p.m. Music is from 6-8 p.m.
For more information, to listen to songs, or buy present and past Daddy Doo Band cds, go to www.daddy-doo.com
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081202-2311132008-12-03T00:00:00Z2008-12-03T00:00:00ZKid of the WeekSailorAnn, or Annie, as she’s now called, is a rare bird. She doesn’t chirp a lot, but behind her quiet demeanor is a constellation of strange and wonderful curiosities. Deirdre says she’s like a hoarding magpie, with countless books, paper scraps, and knickknacks, including the occasional home decor magazine, jutting from the nest of her bottom bunk. Only she could find a way to sleep peacefully in such a tangle.
Annie’s ears are damaged from chronic ear infections since birth, and D. and I have worried that she might have trouble learning to read after early speech delays. It came as a surprise (though it shouldn’t have) when she came home from school one day and started reading fluently from several books off the shelf. I had underestimated Annie’s quiet intellect. Annie is easy to underestimate, but only if your not paying attention.
I’ve found that Annie’s curiosity, intellectual and other, is the flip side of a fearlessness she’s had since birth, the same fearlessness that had her tugging at her IV in the hospital, ready to beat feet only hours after open heart surgery--a fearlessness that occasionally surfaces during scrapes with her brothers. Her brothers are competitive and plaintive about getting what they want and what’s fair, and when they knock each other down, the whole neighborhood winces at their displays. When Annie falls, she gets up again as quietly as a shadow reappearing behind a passing cloud. Never the squeaky wheel, secretly brave.
Annie, I’m told, is not afraid of creepy crawlies. By way of example, the following is a snippet of conversation from tonight, as we feasted on black chocolate cake with white frosting during our Monday night out together.
Sheff (Dad): So Annie, Mom told me that you touched a snake last week.
Annie: Yup.
S: Was it scary? Aren’t you afraid of snakes and bugs an lizards and toads and stuff?
A: Nope. I like gross stuff.
S: Like toenail clippings and pulling out back hair?
A (laughing): Yeah!
S (reflectively): Well. I guess it’s all part of life. It’s definitely all part of being married.
Our five and six year olds have been asking me to write out all the holidays with symbolic pictures for them to copy. Easter egg, pumpkin, tree, etc. Thanksgiving Cornucopia.
Bounty, food, togetherness. The togetherness part is key. Last years thanksgiving was a disaster. We didn’t connect with family, grandparents were out of town. We just made a big feast that the kids promptly threw on the floor on their way to antagonizing one another all night. We thought the nine of us constituted our own community, but the occasion just reminded us of how insular we can be and how much we need connection to loved ones outside these walls.
This year we had people, good ones! And we lucked out having my Mom host. I had offered, and even deep-cleaned the house for ten hours two days beforehand (whew!), but I soon realized that school days off give kids an upper hand with mess-making, and when Mom stepped in to host at the last minute, I was so relieved.
Part of feeling the need to host in the first place came from self-consciousness about our impact. Most couples who have large families seem to come from them, and large family networks tend toward picnics at the park and extra chairs squeezed around folding tables in the kitchen. We are not a tidy compact unit, we spill over boundaries, and I admit, we can be overwhelming, particularly when we impose on worlds where one or two kids are the norm.
But this holiday reminded us to be thankful for how warmly accepted we are by our cosmopolitan parents and friends, who have long ago stopped asking “why” and now just look for the next little Otis tummy to rub. ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081128-2050132008-11-29T00:00:00Z2008-11-29T00:00:00ZGloverky These bad boys.
The uber-versatile surgical glove is the duct tape of creepy medical supplies. During Nate’s birth, when the hospital heating system malfunctioned and turned our room into a meat locker, I saved my wife and son from hypothermia by tying a Coke can full of ice to the thermostat, which heated the room to 104 degrees. What was my lashing of choice? You guessed it. Surgical glove!
James and his grandmother Boo prepared for tonight’s Thanksgiving festivities by coloring these ghostly gloves to make them look like turkeys. The rest of my kids had no inkling to decorate, but seemed content just to bat around giant, swollen hands, except Baby Daisy, whose thigh was inflamed from a recent flu shot, and feeling a special kinship with things distended, cradled her Gloverky tenderly.
I have to admit that I had a field day creating this holiday hybrid of two great American traditions--turkey killin’ and baseball.
Foul ball!
Holiday hybrids have always made sense to me. When I was a young boy living in Tokyo, my family lived in a apartment near a shopping center called Minimiazabu, where each holiday season, a mysterious statue, equal parts Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy, would appear to bestow strange blessings upon shoppers with a spangly mechanical wand. My parents could be critical of this well meaning misinterpretation of all things Western, but for me it held the same charm as snowflakes and lights, mulling spices and carols, and helped open the doors of invention for building traditions with my own family.
Tis the season!
Pumpkin pie!
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081127-2103052008-11-28T00:00:00Z2008-11-28T00:00:00ZRivalsJames and John have always been competitive with each other, but James has been on a blitzkrieg lately to get John into trouble whenever possible.
Yesterday D. asked how John had done in school, and Ann, his classmate said "perfect," which swung jealous James into a tizzy.
"No he wasn't perfect, James hyperventilated, "I saw him--punch someone on the playground!"
Brother Mickey, lazily chewing on a cheese stick, chimed in. "Yeah, that was me."
"Oh" said Mom"..."Did you do something to provoke him?"
"Yeah," said Mickey, waving his cheese stick, as if the answer were stunningly obvious.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081120-0653202008-11-20T00:00:00Z2008-11-20T00:00:00ZKid of the Week At the urging of one of D's friends, a loyal sevensidekicks reader eager to learn more about each of our kids individually, I've named the tradition "Kid of the Week." (This one's for you, Carrie).
Four Mondays ago, as the Colts prepared to battle the Titans on Monday Night Football, and prompted by feelings of neglectful parenting--several cavities at the dentist, a grandparent concerned about reading progress, etc.-- I took D. up on an insanely kind offer to let me leave the house with one kid and share dessert somewhere (sugarless tofu pudding, of course). A rare opportunity (outside ER visits) for one on one time.
So the deal has become this. I take out each school age kid in succession, from oldest to youngest (Mark and Daisy will have to wait a few years). Kid-of-the-week and I order a sundae the size of my head, and between spark-shooting spoon jousts, we write notes back and forth to one another in a tiny notebook, called _____'s Notebook (each kid has one).
Even though I might be training my children into the insidious habit of passing notes in class, the idea actually came from Ann's teacher, who calls these notebooks "correspondence journals." They're a great way of practicing reading and writing with humor and spontaneity. We even break the rules and draw from time to time.
Here's a sample of a written conversation between me and John, age 6.
John: Dad, can we get an ice cream maker?
Dad: No way. Too expensive.
J: What is this word?
D: "Expensive," I say out loud. "It costs lots of money," I write.
J: Why?
D: Because all I'll do is make ice cream and eat ice cream.
J: That cost money?.
D: Yes, because we will have to buy new doors for me to fit into the house. New doors are expensive.
J: "Expensive," John says out loud.
D: Yes.
J: It is ok. You can live outside. Be happy.
Promptly after this exchange, our waitress brought us a disgustingly large sundae.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081118-2102112008-11-19T00:00:00Z2008-11-19T00:00:00ZEye of the Storm
Blood filled my temples as a mass of undifferentiated noise barreled toward me from the other room. I closed my eyes, and began counting heartbeats, while little feet began to dance around me as if I were the fallen Lord of the Flies pig. The noise did not cease but grew louder, but instead of fighting it, for whatever reason, I chose to fall into it. I opened my eyes and realized, in a moment of rare detachment, that the chaos of my children was really just a collection of distinct and logical parts, and didn't always, as I assumed, stem from onerous sibling rivalry or their intense desire to give me a heart attack.
Nate, Mark and Mick courteously took turns climbing on top of the coffee table, then leaping to the couch, and somersaulting to the floor. Shrieks of delight, not aggression or pain, while John and James chatted excitedly over James' deft computer skills. Sailor cajoled baby Daisy as she tested her balance over the pillow strewn floor (and my belly). It turns out that Daisy was the only one making noise for the sheer hell of it, even though she's always the last to get blamed for the din. Who would of thought? A room filled with playful, even constructive sounds!
This everyday moment suddenly struck me as one in which alien dissectors of the human race, or people without children, might be fascinated. It reminded me of an essay I read recently in the Sun Literary Magazine about a wanna-be dad who practices parenting by au pairing for friends during a wedding road trip and finds himself lovingly drawn into their messy clockwork. Definitely worth a read, both for aspiring parents and parents who feel so entrenched that they've forgotten why they had kids in the first place.
In the winter months new routines start for keeping skin soft and children smelling their finest. We are eczema prone around here, bio and adopted, so I learned early, by trial and error, how to best keep skin healthy in these cold months. Baths for little ones with baking soda and baby oil. Pat dry and rub Eucerin cream into their skin. Dress in soft 100% cotton layer with a fleece outer layer, eg. tights, onesie, fleece pants and sweatshirt. I love Hanna Andersson Swedish Moccasins to keep feet warm and maintain traction on wood floors. With cozy layers and conditioned skin we keep scaly dermis at bay.
I keep the heat down in the house, so less drying out. Also, hydration is key. Our kids drink tea! Today, Nate and Mark and Daisy had peppermint tea with honey and whole milk after lunch. P.S. Only try honey after 12 months to avoid a possible early allergy.
If you’re having any trouble with skin let me know. I’ve probably dealt with it, and I may be able to help.
Sheff has noticed that kids have an inborn drive to “moisten” themselves. Check out his "Moist" entry below. ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081111-2021322008-11-12T00:00:00Z2008-11-12T00:00:00ZMoist
Each one of my biological kids has gone through a phase of needing to lubricate everything in sight. Last summer, my then two year old was obsessed with dabbing his cheeks, head and chest with petroleum products.
The usual suspects.
At one point, I even caught him lubing up the barbeque with an entire bottle of 50 SPF sunscreen. In his defense, I’ve never seen a more ageless barbeque.
A moist read!
Just last week, my current two year old anointed the pages of five library books with diaper rash cream--possibly in an attempt to make them glide more smoothly through the return slot.
Moist!
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve mistaken our playroom for Exxon Valdez, I’d be able to feed every parking meter in town--stuffed animals with nary an open pore, action figures glistening like the front covers of muscle magazines, the television set oozing like a giant insect eye. And when toddlers lube hardwood floors, it’s hard to catch the little buggers because their low centers of gravity give them alarming balance in slippery conditions. Then, when you finally do catch them, they’re like little Heismans with their ability to slide out of a tackle.
Mega moist!
Late two, early three seems to be the prime age for this moistening phenomenon, and it may coincide with potty training. D. has read that around this age, kids become aware of the unpleasantness of replacing absorbent diapers with “cargo shorts” (not the kind with the pockets), and that they’ll act out by messing up their environments as a way commanding our attention to clean them. Smearing their own you-know-what is the ultimate manifestation of this mess-making drive (we’ve all been there), but anything that smears seems to be a good proxy.
Sticky moist!
My own theory is that kids this age, having grown more verbal and aware that they’re stuck in the world of humans with no possibility of return to the womb, find themselves in the throes of a sort of “vernix withdrawal.” Maybe, at this age, we parents start paying a little less attention to them when they get out of the bath. We’re a little more sparing with the baby oil, a little more austere with the powder, and they start to feel vulnerable, like salted slugs.
Cleansed moist!
There are several advantages of the “moistening” stage. It’s one of the few times, for example, when I don’t worry about kids’ getting heads stuck in bannisters at friends’ houses. It can be off-putting to walk into a party with a warm plate of ham and a reciprocating saw.
Stylish moist!
Also, it’s handy to have little grease fiends around when you’re trying to get your bike up and running after a long winter and you’re chain’s a little stiff.
Short-lived moist!
If you’re on a family outing and you see a stranger’s child itching and scratching from a bad case of eczema, a good natured high-five between your little lube-lord and the afflicted may be just what the doctor ordered. It takes a village!
With a little planning, creativity, and determination, this unctious period can go pretty smoothly. Just make sure to keep your slickened away from delicate fabrics and open flames, and when you’re crossing the street, grip sleeves, not hands.
Mini moist.
Drive-by moistening. ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081110-1618182008-11-10T00:00:00Z2008-11-10T00:00:00ZBy the Truckload
In the span of five years, we adopted three from Russia in two trips. On the heels of each trip we had a bio baby, making our number five, four boys and one oh so lonely girl. We figured we’d take a shot at giving sister a sister, and of course, we had another brother.
So we tried again, and voila, baby girl was born, tiny and wispy as a dandelion seed.
Explore the Seven Under Seven section of this blog for a week in our life, or for a condensed downloadable version, check out the Spring '08 issue of the Williams College Alumni Review..
April 20, '08
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081109-2050512008-11-10T00:00:00Z2008-11-10T00:00:00ZAnnie's OvernightSailorAnn (6), by her own choosing, now goes by "Annie." We thought about calling her Annie in the first place but wanted to dodge the stigma of "Little Orphan Annie" that might be associated with her first years. So why did she decide on the name change (other than the fact that it seems a rite of passage in this family)? She loves "Little Orphan Annie." Go figure.
Here's a passage of a letter from my dad describing Annie's first overnight, a nice view into her personality, and his.
My wife and I had a daughter named “Daisy” but she only lived two days. It was a tragedy that she left us so soon, but she’s another story. Years later my son, Sheff, adopted a little girl, Sai-Sai, now “Annie”, from Russia. And a few years later he and his wife, Deirdre, had another daughter called “Daisy.” They named her after Sheff’s sister. It was very poignant. She’s a much-welcomed addition to the core and expanded family.
The point is that I never raised a daughter. Two fine sons but not a little girl. So when it became Annie’s turn for a sleepover with her grandfather, me, I was a bit at sixes and sevens.
I picked up Annie at the appointed time. Her mother whisked her out, well prepared, spit-spot. Apparently overnights with grandfather are popular and she didn’t want six other kids pitching fits. I asked her what she wanted for dinner. She said “cheeseburger.” I asked if she knew where one was close by. She said take a right. We got to Snelling Ave. and she said take a left. I was in the left lane, Then she pointed to the right where the MacDonald’s was. I pointed out, very, very patiently, honest to God, that that was right and not left. She smiled. We were at a stop light in the far left lane. I learned long ago in Thailand that if you actually smile and talk to other motorists, you could do almost anything. So I motored down Annie’s window and asked the lady on my right if I could cross over in front of her. It’s a busy intersection so this was brazen. She shrugged in a “whatever” way. And she actually held at green as we committed a gross moving violation to get to MacDonald’s.
At the car she said her grandmother lived down the street we were on. She knew. And it was several miles down. But she knew. I asked if she’d like to visit her newish sister, Daisy and a brother, Mickey, at her grandmother’s house. She smiled. Yes. My son and his wife had farmed all the children out to four different host houses. They were celebrating their wedding anniversary, somewhat delayed because of projectile hurling flu on the actual day, September 29th. We dropped in on Nor and had a nice visit. Then on to Minneapolis.
We got to the house and she checked out everything like a fairly laid-back drill sergeant. I’d fixed up her bed and bedroom so it would be welcoming. I put up a picture of her, of her Dad, my son, and her whole family on a low bureau in her room to remind her we were kin. Somehow that was smart of me. After she left I found she’d carefully placed a little paper pumpkin next to each picture except the one of herself. I found other little things in her tiny wake. Little things moved around a little in her wake. Things that never moved when it was just me. It was quietly wonderful.
Right off I made a fire and we fired up the oven for the cookies. Nothing from scratch. Nothing left to chance. She saw the brand new games on the coffee table and wanted to get right to it. I’d read the instructions before she came but was still a little hazy on the rules. Everyone knows CANDYLAND. It’s been around about 60 years. I’d never heard of it. She taught me. She taught me this and four card games. She’s a good teacher. She’s six.
Breakfast the next morning...
She wanted French toast. So that’s what we had. French toast and bacon. She ate most of it and I automatically ate her leftovers when she was done. A sort of phantom limb quality of parents, or former parents, of little ones. You eat what they don’t. There are hedge fund managers in New York starving, you know. You don’t waste food.
Grandpa Pocky, Minneapolis
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081109-1617312008-11-09T00:00:00Z2008-11-09T00:00:00ZAlumna D.
For a recent profile of Deirdre, go to November issue of CSB Alumnae and Friends from the College of St. Benedict.]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081108-2104072008-11-09T00:00:00Z2008-11-09T00:00:00ZIf You Give a Tot Iced Coffee If you give a tot iced coffee,
She’ll want a second sip.
You’ll give her one and, She’ll probably enjoy it.
When you refuse to give her a third, She’ll get bossy,
Then she’ll try to pull off your nose.
She’ll scoot across the floor...
And out the door...
And into a mud puddle.
Then she’ll want a sink bath.
She’ll ask you for your freshest pie while she is in the bath. Then she'll ask for her brother. When you turn to call for him, she'll escape.
She’ll dress herself and learn to walk.
She’ll find her brother and challenge him to a tricycle joust.
Then she’ll command him to do fancy tricks like touching his nose to the floor.
She’ll command others to do fancy tricks as well.
She’ll be a bit sassy about it.
You’ll ask her what’s going on, And she’ll ask you for a crayon.
You’ll give her one of your finest crayons, And she'll make wall art for her brothers to enjoy.
But by the time you’ve found her again,
Chances are, The iced coffee will have worn off.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081106-2048222008-11-07T00:00:00Z2008-11-07T00:00:00ZDreams Come True -Grandmother Boo
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081106-1720012008-11-06T00:00:00Z2008-11-06T00:00:00ZKid Election DayThis morning I took James (8) to the polling place, where he was able to vote in his own "kid election." Based on this e-mail excerpt from grandmother Boo a few days ago, I had some confidence in his being able to practice an informed choice or two.
It was so nice to have James on Saturday. Big Daddy and I are so pleased and impressed with his way of being in the world, including his interest in the election. Sunday morning he wanted to know what the polls were saying and when I told him Obama's lead in Minnesota was good, he said, Minnesota doesn't matter... wow. Of course he gets it from interested parents, but not all kids pick it up.
He made a comment about asking Mr. Nelson about being born in Russia, but could he vote in the U.S.? Is any child adopted by American parents immediately a citizen? James said it was 'confusing' though I think he understood that he is a citizen. Are the wee Russians instantly citizens? I remember something strange about passports & being stopped coming into the country...
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081104-1548322008-11-04T00:00:00Z2008-11-04T00:00:00ZThe Great Pumpkin
The term comes from the Classic Charlie Brown movie, but we invented the ritual. On Halloween night, after everyone has gorged on candy, we brush teeth, climb in bed, and dream of the Great Pumpkin, who creeps in the night, eats ALL THE CANDY, and leaves pumpkin marked presents in its place.
Great Pumpkin anticipation outstrips candy coveting. I get as excited as the kids about running downstairs to find the colorful packages on the kitchen table (we have similar rituals for Valentines Day and St. Patrick's day). We talk about All Saints day and the beautiful dance we saw at church commemorating the souls that have passed this year.
This year I also organized all the costumes for next year, labeled by name and type, with extras just in case--a good way of averting conflict over who's wearing what next year. I tell the kids that next year we'll embellish by making homemade masks and face paint. Something to look forward to!
Daisy was Cindy Lou Who (who was not more than two) for Halloween.
A Chinese philosopher once proclaimed that “before there was anything, there was music.” I can’t help but believe that dance was close on its heels...
My mom was a dancer, a good one. She apprenticed with Martha Graham, auditioned for Broadway shows, came very close, met my dad, had me. One of her best friends from boarding school went onto run Martha Graham. Mom hung it up and became a dance critic for the Pioneer Press. I got to see Baryshnikov when I was three. I got to sit in on rehearsals for New Dance Ensemble. I lived with Mom in dance culture, but never thought to like it...
I was an athlete--more of a dabbler. Baseball, football, hockey, soccer, basketball, tennis. To this day, I can lose gracefully in every sport. In tenth grade, I got injured and took up theater, which led to a fruitful college acting career and a half-baked one in Hollywood, but I avoided musicals because they required dance. “Is he trying to do aerobics?
Curiously, in college I went to nearly ever dance production, often to see friends perform, but just as even when friends weren’t involved. Ballet. Jazz. African Drums. I was drawn as a spectator, but vestiges of that adolescent thin skin kept me from taking the plunge and auditioning.
My kids are athletes. They know how to move because my wife D. and I never stop moving. I coach their teams, baseball, basketball, soccer. I teach them at home. “Dip your back knee when you pitch and bring your leg around.” My four year old has no interest in sports, but he’s very athletic. He wants to dance. I see him twirl and lunge and stomp and I marvel at the beautiful “aerobics” he does. He is a dancer. I am proud.
It turns out that boys like to dance, except when they’re told that they shouldn’t. Circus Juventas founder Betty Butler disparages that girls gravitate toward circus more than boys, but that her dance classes fill up equally. Dancing is the purest form of fun and athleticism. It’s no guarded secret that the Dallas Cowboys have trained with ballet for decades, and retired cowboy great Emmitt Smith says that training to win “Dancing with the Stars” was the most physically demanding challenges of his life.
Sam Rockwell is a 25 year old drummer who grew up in the Twin Cities and moved to New York. Now he’s a campaign manager for a NYC city councilman. He’s an athlete, tall and handsome with dark curly hair. His dad’s an athlete, also handsome, bald, a winner, so much so that his name is “Win.” Sam’s mom is a local theater producer. Sam had no choice but to be a renaissance man, and at the center of his childhood was dance.
We have tried a few community ed dance programs for our four year old. Girls in pink tutus mostly, adorable. My son has tried to fit in but can’t quite. He is fitful, uncooperative, intense, riveting. He reminds me of Billy Eliot, whose father thinks he should be a boxer, but who rebels by dancing with a boxers fury in his feet and torso and eyes. My son has a like intensity, but our overweening love and support probably won’t feed his fury--he’ll have to find it somewhere else.
P.S. This is Drums Alive, a wildly inventive and deservedly popular YMCA program that I reference in this month's column. Many thanks to Group Exercise Specialist Sean Levesque for hustling up this photo. More info at www.ymcatwincities.org.
]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081030-2210392008-10-31T00:00:00Z2008-10-31T00:00:00ZBlueberry Pie
Sailor and Mick were working at the table doing homework so I could answer questions about the letter H and counting by fives while measuring the berries. Nate and Mark were playing mermen--tying blankets around their waists and racing around sliding on the floor battling octopi, crabs and baby Daisy, who shrieked at them as she stumbled on new walking legs. James and John were at Cub Scouts, while Sheff worked on a writing deadline.
I made a double batch rectangular pie. The dough felt clean and smooth, unlike the mess of my day. As I cut neat slices for a lattice top, I became suddenly aware of why people love cooking. I don’t particularly, but tonight I did. The pie was a start to finish accomplishment, sweet, richly colored and beautiful. Just a slice in a day. ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081028-1842572008-10-28T00:00:00Z2008-10-28T00:00:00ZSearch TermsHere we are, seven months into this blog, and as a testament of what we have covered so far, here are the 50 most popular search terms that have landed visitors at our site. Personally, I find this list fascinating...
where can i get a liturgical calendar that i can color in with crayons ]]>http://sevensidekicks.com/index.php?entry=entry081025-2030352008-10-26T00:00:00Z2008-10-26T00:00:00Z
]]>
]]>
]]>
]]>
]]>
The usual suspects.
A moist read!
Moist!
Mega moist!
Sticky moist!
Cleansed moist!
Stylish moist!
Short-lived moist!
Mini moist.
Drive-by moistening.
]]>
